airlockedmods: (Default)
airlockedmods ([personal profile] airlockedmods) wrote 2018-02-13 06:06 am (UTC)

Congratulations!

5
Vuvuzela - A long plastic instrument that creates a long, droning buzz. Perfect for drowning out people who love to toot their own horn.

6
Roll of Bubble Wrap - A roll of bubble wrap about two feet wide and two hundred feet long. Perfect for keeping cinnamon rolls safe from murder (just remember to leave room to breathe).

7
Model Time Machine - A blue and white model spaceship with a six-pointed red insignia on the... balls. It looks like a cock and balls.

8
Space Lube - A tube helpfully labeled Space Lube. The tube is as big as a full-grown man and weighs about 90 lbs

9
Antiemetic Medication - A bottle of bright pink liquid medicine. It tastes like the farts of a chalk unicorn, but you won't regretti that spaghetti!

10
Bon Appetit - A box of ten brand new multicolored dams. If you want to get ecstatic, use a prophylactic!

11
Burgie - A stuffed burger pillow with big eyes and a friendly smile.

12
Childchime Mini Cheese Wheel - A tiny wheel of cheese in a bright red wrapper. The label has a picture of a smiling cow.

13
Cyan Pens - A pack of three cyan pens, perfect for bright, cheerful notes about your current bleak and depressing situation. One of them seems particularly low on ink.

14
Conch Shell - A seashell that lets you hear the sea if you hold it to your ear. Does not predict the future.

15
Plumbus - Well, it's either a sex toy or a shower aid. Or both. Probably both. At least it comes with an owner's manual.

16
Hirshey's Physical Affections - A bag of small, bell-shaped chocolates. The tag sticking out of the wrapper says "Physical Affections".

17
Hand Sanitizer - A bottle of alcohol-based hand sanitizer. It kills 99.99% of germs.

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