1
Health Scanner - A handheld electronic scanner that can immediately gauge the health of whoever it's aimed at. It glows green for impotence! Oh, wait, green causes impotence...

2
Vodka - A bottle of vodka. This one is flavored like candy corn.

3
Inflatable Swimming Pool - A blue rubber swimming pool. Too bad it doesn't come with an air pump to inflate it with.

4
Energy Drank - A slender can of energy drink. The label says Crimson Ox.

5
Orbital Knight Uniform - A uniform for those of the elite of the Vers Imperial Forces. Its austere gray doesn't protect you from being blown up, sadly.

6
Tiny Car - A tiny red convertible. It's powered by pedals like a bicycle, with a steering wheel. For some reason it makes you think of old men in silly hats.

7
Coffee - A plastic tub full of coffee grounds. It smells like battery acid and regret.

8
Ramen - A packet of instant ramen. Just add hot water and stir in the flavor packet for a basic college staple.

9
Foot Spa - A machine that helpfully provides a much-needed foot massage.