1
Health Scanner - A handheld electronic scanner that can immediately gauge the health of whoever it's aimed at. It glows green for impotence! Oh, wait, green causes impotence...

2
Agape outfit - This outfit is sure to make you want to embrace your sensitive side.

3
The Good Stuff - A bottle full of large white pills. The label says "Oxycodone."

4
Inflatable Swimming Pool - A blue rubber swimming pool. Too bad it doesn't come with an air pump to inflate it with.

5
Body Pillow - A long rectangular pillow, perfect for hugging at night. Can even be a substitute boyfriend, if you need one.

6
Facial Scrub - A luxurious pink salt scrub. It'll purge your negative ions and leave your skin shiny and beautiful.

7
Snapshot - A picture of three boys in front of a large rock. It looks like the boy on the right has a pair of very excited beefy tattooed arms coming out of his back.

8
Slippers - A pair of sturdy moccasin-style slippers. They're very soft on the inside.

9
Moon and Stars pendant - A delicate necklace of a moon with a star on each side.